Playing Mom vs. Being Mom

Let's see.

My hair is up in two ponytails. 

One on top

One on the bottom.

That's what happens when you chop your hair and don't think of the repercussions.

I'm in my underwear...

BUT

I have a shirt on at least!

Cricket is sleeping.

Tim is mowing and edging the lawn.

I'm between laundry and just changed the sheets, cleaned one bathroom and picked up our bedroom.

I think that deserves a writing break, yeah?

Yeah.

So,

let's get down to business!

All growing up I loved babies. 

LOVED

I'd ask for baby dolls every Christmas

I always kept my eye out for the most unique and life-like ones.

The water baby was as good as it got!

I had to change it's diaper cause it wet itself.

I got to fill it up with warm water and hold it in my arms.

It was the best.

But,

what I really wanted was my cousin, Jessica's, Cabbage Patch Kid.

Now, this was no ordinary CPK...

 it was weighted!

Don't ask me why this was a game changer, 

it just was.

Then, my siblings started popping out babies.

The first run, we got two at the same time

Yes, twins!

I was in baby heaven.

After the twins came

8 more made their grand appearance and I was smitten with each one.

I was convinced,

babies were the best thing in the world.

I jumped on opportunities to 

feed them, 

change them, 

bathe them,

you name it!

Once it was time for me to have my own, I knew I had it in the bag.

13 years under my belt of being a very experienced aunt.

This was going to be a peace of cake!

HELLO, KELSIE!

NO

YOU ARE WRONG.

Ok, I'm exaggerating with all those caps.

But really, it's not the same.

Not one bit.

As we know, the beginning was rough.

"This is what it's actually like being a mom?"

Hard Pass

This was down right dirty business!

Just two weeks prior to having Cricket, I relished the opportunities to give my niece baths.

Now...

"Well, let's see here. You have dried up milk all over your arms and face and probably smell sour, but I can't tell cause I'm scent immune these days, so I guess I better throw you in the sink, child."

"Oh, you spit up, and now your outfit (that I could very easily change) is soaking wet? That's too bad, let me help you by sticking a tissue under the soon to be sour milk stain, and call it good."

I mean, there are plenty more thought scenarios that I could offer you, but we'll just leave those there and move on.

So

playing mom my whole life was amazing. 

It was easy.

It was fun.

Being a mom on the other hand

it's really hard sometimes.

it's dirty

it's stinky 

(and I'm not referring just to the baby on those last two)

but, man

it's rewarding.

When she wakes up from her nap smiling so big you think your heart might burst.

When you get her to sleep and she begins to cackle.

When she's laying on your chest and falls asleep.

When you're feeding her and she won't take her eyes off of you.

When she sneezes and you just can't take it cause it's the cutest and smallest sneeze you've ever heard.

When she tucks her hands up by her face.

When she's sleeping with her mouth open.

I can go on, but I'm sure all you mom's know just how long the list can go.

Being a mom has turned out to be nothing like I would have imagined it to be.

But 

it has been the best thing to ever happen to me.

I tell Tim all the time,

"do you feel like she's ours?"

I can't fathom sometimes that we have her.

that she's OURS.

That we get to keep her for eternity.

Looking back on my childhood, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of being a mom.

I look at my mom and sisters and am in awe that they were able to raise the children that they brought into this world.

Cause it's not easy.

But it's the absolute best thing in the world.

That is all.

I must now go retrieve my blessed child, since she has awoken from her slumber.

Perfect timing, baby!

I love you even more now. ;)